Faith Imaging From My High School Baseball Days

Yesterday evening, after my PM workout, I decided to go for a walk, since it was such a beautiful Arkansas evening.  I was walking and reflecting on my training day.  I was thinking about things that have happened that I could build on, like consistently hitting all 21 pullups straight etc. 

As I walked I was visualizing myself, walking down the street, breathing, swaying my arms, looking around, as if I was right then and there one of the worlds fittest human beings.  As if I was the fittest in the city.  As If I am a Regionals level athlete.  I was pretending, as Conor McGregor would say.  But emotional exercises like this are the same as actually experiencing something in real life that points to the same outcome.  It all leads to making the pretend my reality.  I mean why visualize myself as a broken down weak fatass who can't gain muscle??? Makes no sense. 

Then I had a memory of my senior year in high school on the baseball team.  It was the year 2000.  I was about to graduate high school.  The last time I played baseball was in little league when I was 7.  I never played baseball but always wanted to.  I told myself that I am not going to graduate HS with this regret, so I was a walk on.  Barely made the team. 

I remember struggling.  I remember being afraid of grounders, fearing I would get popped in the mouth and all my teeth would get knocked out.  I was afraid of getting beamed by the ball at the plate.  I sucked.  At first I would occasionally get playing time as a replacement pitcher since I was a lefty.  HAHA but I knew the coach regretted it every time he put me in. 

Then something changed.

I was close to God at that time......still am........I remember praying and speaking in faith back then (faith imaging and visualization) that even though I am a first year walk on as a senior, and the team was already established with seasoned good players, I prayed and asked God that I become so good that I become an integral part to the team.  Now hear this part..........I remember praying that I don't need to start, but I would be happy with being a major part to the team with every game....OK...I was very specific. 

As the season went on, I trained even after practice with intensity and the belief that God would give me what I requested.  I worked harder in practice and out of practice than anyone else on my team.  I even made our star pitcher beam me with the ball so I would get over my fear.  There was a zeal about me, an attitude.  I remember pacing in the dugout and the coach put me in to replace the person on second base.  Next hit was a single, but I ran all the way in and scored a point.  The opposing team was shocked at my intensity and didn't even challenge me to home. 

That same tournament at bat I hit a triple, and caught a game winning catch that I had to dive for. 

I found myself becoming a really good player.  I found myself playing at least half of every game.  I even had a college scout come to see another player but take notice of me.  He had never heard of me before.  But he liked what he saw and had interest. 

But get this............I never once started.  Even on Senior night, and the rest of the coaches urged the headcoach to let me start, that I deserved it, and I was clearly better than the starter I usually replaced, he never started me. 

I received what I visualized.  I received the faith that I put into reality.  No better and no worse.  It was a miracle that I made it that far.  And had I believed in myself even further, there's no telling what could have happened with my baseball career. 

Let's get back to NOW...........

I am 34 years old.  Up to this point I haven't believed in myself to be good enough to progress to the point of being competitive.  Because of my disbelief, I have also been inconsistent in my preparation.  I have been hit or miss on my goals.  I have plateaued in progress.  WHY?  My image for myself was such. 

But I am taking my lesson that I learned when I was 18.  It doesn't matter how many 'underdog' attributes I currently have.  It doesn't matter what others may think.  Even my previous success and failures do not matter or define me.  All that matters is now.  All that matters is what I know.  And I know that by next year I will be in the top 1% of the worlds competitors for the Crossfit Open.  I know I can hit that goal.  I will hit that goal.  Every day I get better. 

Watch me.